The Patty project

A few weeks ago, I threw a surprise party for Lani’s 30th birthday.

The past couple of years have been incredibly tough for her.

There have been multiple health complications — unexpected hospital admissions, surgeries, complications from surgeries… and the list feels endless. She smiles and she shares parts of her world, but not everyone sees what’s really happening behind the scenes.

Then there have been the challenges with the kids — more hospital admissions, an asthma diagnosis, and a Level 3 autism diagnosis – and navigating what that means for a non-verbal child. Sitting with the reality of what the future might hold. Advocating. Adjusting. Processing. And all while raising four very active little humans who are beautifully “neuro-spicey” in their own ways — each with their own needs, personalities and big energy.

It’s a lot.

It’s constant.

And it requires a level of resilience most people never truly see.

These things are heavy for anyone. But when you’re a young mum, often socially isolated because you’re in constant fight-or-flight mode, just trying to keep your family afloat — it’s even harder. Keeping up with friends or social circles doesn’t feel like a priority when you’re just trying to survive.

So I wanted to do something that was just for her.

My idea was to invite 30 women who have been part of her life — women who have shaped her, supported her, and made an impact along the way. I was so grateful to those who said yes and showed up. Keeping the secret from her (and the kids!) wasn’t easy, but we managed it — and when she walked in, she was genuinely surprised.

I love and appreciate my daughter so much. When I look at her, I still see the beautiful little girl she was — talkative, so smart, caring, loving with her whole heart.

I want the best for her.

And for a few hours, I wanted her to feel loved, celebrated and special as herself — not as a mum, not as a partner, not as a sister — but simply as Lani.

My hope was that she would enter her thirties knowing, without a doubt, that she is loved and deeply valued.

And I think we did that .