The Patty project

24/02/19

Six years ago today you took your last breath.

It was bloody hard sitting back and watching you struggle to breathe and even harder was watching each one of your loved ones saying their final goodbyes.

The loss of your life shook so many in way’s that you’d never imagine.

If you were well enough to know that your loss would cause so much detriment to so many I’m sure you’d be here with us today.

The days following your family service and funeral I sat for some time thinking about how things could have be done differently but in all honesty we were a part of your extended networks and we never knew what you were going through.

I can’t remember when the thought or moment came when I had that ‘lightbulb’ moment but it did happen and fortunately I was a part of a volunteer group who were passionate about working towards change within our Pacific communities in Sydney.

I came up with a proposal; I made contact with some people in NZ and later that year my team and I put on the first HopeWalk in Sydney.

That first year 257 people walked together for suicide awareness and prevention.

Eli Pale and I walked for you.

Two years later and we have now run our third HopeWalk and in October 2018 330 individuals walked and in this crowd for the first time were your wife, children, brother, sisters, and extended family members.

2018 was the third year that I mentioned your name and this time like every other time I spoke your name and of your memory but it was different because your loved ones were present in the crowd.

You’d be so proud of them; your kids have grown beautifully and regardless of their struggles, their pain, their sadness they keep moving forward and whilst I was worried about how they’d feel about my recount of their dad’s story from my point of view I continued to do what I had for three years before and that was to have your memory live on alongside of the memories of other peoples loved ones who’s lives were taken too soon.

Two weeks ago we welcomed a team of 18 to our new planning team for suicide awareness and prevention and on that day your uso Eli Pale still got choked up sharing his memories of you and why he like me has made it one of our life’s plans to raise awareness to mental health and suicide.

It does get easier but it’s never easy enough to do without a lump in your throat or a tear rolling down a cheek.

I wish life had not taken the turn that it did.

It’s painful to say the least but it’s how your life panned out and I wanted to share this as my way of commemorating how important you are/were to us.

We haven’t’ visited your gravesite since you passed and we rarely catch up with your family these days but if you are watching from above you will know and see that your impact and your influence in our lives has led us to keeping your memory alive in way’s you’d never imagine and we hope that this is enough…for now.

We miss you Ose. R.I.P

Patty x