The Patty project

It’s Christmas day, I’m home alone and yes – I am okay with being alone.

My children are now grown so the eldest is with her partner and children doing what young families do.

My partner and our other two are sharing a Christmas breakfast with their side of the family.

My parents have lived separate lives for over 20 years so they spend the day as they choose.

I woke up to the sounds of my household preparing for their breakfast date and couldn’t go back to sleep so I made my way to the lounge room, lit a lemongrass candle and sat on my recliner stretched out comfortably and relaxed.

I’ve had a big year and I have done a lot of healing and self-work (and the physical stuff too).

There is no way I would have been okay to be at home on my own on Christmas day a few years back.

Although exhausted, unwell, anxious and stressed I’m sure my ‘victim’ mentality would have crept in and I would not have been okay with being ‘left out’.

*Victim Mentality = A victim mentality is where you often feel like a victim, even when the evidence says otherwise. Signs include blaming others and having trouble accepting personal responsibility. A victim mentality can make you feel like life is unfair. Many people who have a victim mentality have experienced trauma or hard times and for others, it can be a learnt behaviour*.

But today things are so different.

I look forward to some time alone, I enjoy the quiet and I enjoy not having to talk to anyone or having to hold space for anybody and yes, even on Christmas day when most spend the day with their loved ones.

*Holding space = Holding space is a psychological concept that means creating a safe space for someone by being present physically, emotionally and mentally without judgement*.

I have enjoyed the family Christmas bonding rituals, (the excitement and at times the exhaustion that came with young kids, trees, decorations, presents and the jolly red guy) and now during this season of parenting and doing family time differently I am enjoying my time and this new chapter of my life.

As the saying goes ‘life is what you make of it’ and this morning I chose to reflect, recharge, relax and relish in my time home alone on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas friends – I hope you get to spend this day as you choose .