Working on my responses and trying not to be reactive is hard work.
For example, this morning I was advised that since not being on my ADHD medication my impulsiveness has been challenging and not finishing tasks but moving on to others without completing the last has also been challenging because there are many pockets of unfinished business all about the house.
Is this correct? Yes.
Did I feel confronted? Yes.
Was I slightly triggered? Of course I was.
Why? Because the truth is uncomfortable.
Why uncomfortable? Because as an adult who unknowingly lived with ADHD for many, many years I was on survival mode, was exhausted and I was running out of everything that was needed to keep me progressing and moving forward.
When I received my ADHD diagnosis I was provided with an explanation as to why I was the way I was and this provided me with a better understanding of myself and also a sense of relief and calm.
When I started exploring medication and started working with a psychiatrist to prescribe them I started to slow down and my life became less chaotic.
It took me a while to read my body and my mind before two and two were put together and with the support of a general practitioner (GP) I learnt that my ongoing physical discomfort, pain, sleeplessness and constipation were all side effects from the medication being taken.
I had the hard choice to make and after 12 months of stillness and (brain) quiet I decided to stop taking medication for ADHD.
My brain had slowed down and I was finishing and accomplishing tasks like never before but the pain in my jaw from grinding my teeth was overpowering my thought processes, impacting my moods and not allowing me to sleep well. The pain from the jaw eventually spread from my neck to my shoulders.
The constipation was horrific and my insides hurt to the point that I could not sit which meant I could not drive for long, sit at my work desk, relax and watch TV, work out or do much at all.
The chronic pain was overwhelming and started impacting my overall well-being; I couldn’t keep living like this.
The meds were stopped; there is little balance and I feel challenged.
The Patty project 
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