The Patty project

From a young age, my relationship with food has always been complicated.

My parents find it amusing that my first words, Papa, could have meant Dad in English or potato in Spanish (yes, I’m bilingual). *Disclaimer: I do have a love for potato fries.

Over the years, my relationship with food has felt like a rollercoaster of emotions. Guilt, shame, comfort, and satisfaction have all played a part.

As someone who has struggled with obesity, food has been both my enemy and my confidant.

It’s all too easy to fall into a vicious cycle of turning to food for comfort during stress, sadness, or boredom. In those moments, a great big, greasy or deep-fried meal or a luscious chocolate-covered dessert feel like the only things that can fill the void.

Once the temporary satisfaction of fat-food comfort fades, guilt and regret set in, intensifying the negative feelings tied to my weight.

But now, I’m on a journey of self-acceptance and self-love, which involves reevaluating my relationship with food (Yippee! Hooray! WooHoo).

I’ve realised the importance of approaching this battle with compassion and understanding towards myself, in particular, my mind and my body.

I’m learning to listen to my body’s cues and focus on nourishing it with wholesome foods that will fuel me rather than seeking comfort in unhealthy choices.

The weight loss surgery and battle with bowel cancer have brought about changes in my eating habits. After a long plateau, I started on Ozempic as recommended by the plastic surgeon working with me to remove the excess skin in mid-2024. I lost weight fast, but almost everything I ate made me feel sick, so that ‘venture’ didn’t last too long.

Since then, my appetite has decreased, and my relationship with food has also shifted.

I no longer crave sweets and am comfortable having chocolate before me without the urge to indulge. (I haven’t eaten a chocolate bar in almost 4 months). While my partner and I eat out once or twice a week, we make healthier choices and try to steer away from deep-fried foods.

I no longer rely on food to fill my voids.

One thing is sure: I don’t want food and eating to consume my mind and dictate my life any longer.

Looking at this photo taken in Hawaii brings mixed emotions and a sense of self-conflict. There is a touch of sadness, too. At this time, it was still early days after the gastric sleeve, and I had no choice but to learn the hard way how to change my eating habits.

I had my challenges, as do most who’ve had the sleeve, and by listening to my body, I learned how to do things differently.

Back then, I thought I was committed to finding balance, embracing self-love, and living where food was just one aspect of the beautiful mosaic that makes up my world, but, yes, but….. I didn’t have the tools to understand how much commitment was required.

Today, things have changed for the better and I’m finally doing it.

Yes, the time has come (cue celebratory cheers)…

Yippee.

Hooray and Woo Hoo!