The Patty project

Change is an inevitable part of life, and yet, many of us struggle to embrace it. We often find ourselves clinging to the familiar, fearing the unknown, and resisting the transformations that could lead to personal growth. In this blog post, I want to share my own journey of learning to embrace change and how it has positively influenced my life but before moving forward it’s best to share that my experience with ‘change’ was somewhat thrust upon me and came just months before my cancer diagnosis and for this reason, I’ll share a little about the backstory before getting into what I experienced, learnt and now believe may assist others in time of need.

The backstory: My journey of returning back to self started during April/May 2019. Something was brewing in the pit of my stomach that was telling me I needed to get away on my own for a few days. I’d not ever experienced anything like this before since becoming a parent and I had not ever considered going away on my own without a child or my partner.

I was looking for answers to questions that were challenging me and whilst I would have loved getting on a plane and landing in some mysterious country that I’d never been to I ended up in Byron Bay, a coastal town located on the far-north coast of NSW.

This somewhat unplanned and unwanted trip to Byron Bay saved my life. On one of my walks through town, I saw a sign for a psychic fair and went in. I met a woman who advised that I needed to seek medical attention and she told me this whilst rubbing her abdomen.

A few months after being back home and back into my daily routine I decided to book an appointment with a doctor and requested some testing to be done. To cut a long story short approximately 4 months later I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and the process to have it cut out and treated began and then lasted over 13 months.

Those 13 months felt like a lifetime was cramped into each month and by the end of it, I was left with unsightly physical scarring, a weakened immunity, unpredictable bowels and a lot of emotional and psychological damage.

I needed to move forward; the darkness that I experienced during this time and the darkness that was lingering from years of self-sabotage and early childhood trauma was dangerous so I made the important choice to celebrate the cancer diagnosis because early detection saved my life and also because I deserved to no longer look at everything as a negative.

I then forced myself to sit with my thoughts and unpack what part I played in the events in my life that were lingering due to pain, sadness, trauma, loss, and shame. I then forgave the younger version of myself that didn’t know any better but to trust adults in authority who hurt me, let me down or unknowingly emotionally caused damage or detriment.

Next, old habits needed to be broken and this was not easy. Changing eating habits, releasing friendships and people that no longer served me, changing jobs, and confronting my fears were in need and whilst some were harder than others to accomplish in time they were all done.

I sought out assistance and support whilst working on all the changes and this included therapy with a qualified therapist, and joining an art therapy group. My daily surroundings also needed to support my needs so I set up a zen zone in our backyard, and then I chose to forgive myself and celebrate the journey by getting a tattoo and installing dreadlocks in my hair.

I lost people in my life and felt pain because of distance and loneliness and I needed to remind myself that I deserved to be surrounded by people who valued, respected, appreciated and gave back as much energy as I poured out on them. In time I saw the value in this because the relationships that remained were strengthened and to date continue to grow.

Finding myself has been and continues to be an interesting journey and I can’t wait to see where the future takes me. I share my experiences openly so that others can see that they are truly never alone and also because when I am searching for relatable reading material I still don’t come across many that are authentic. What I write are my real-life stories that are raw and honest. I don’t believe in embellishing hardships because not only am I true to myself but I’m also true to those who choose to follow my journey.

This is my first go at sharing tips that have helped me one way or another and I’m hoping that they are realistic and achievable.

1. Acknowledge the Need for Change:
   The first step towards embracing change is recognizing the need for it. Whether it’s your physical or mental health, stagnant career, toxic relationships, or simply feeling stuck in life, acknowledging that something needs to change is crucial. Reflect on your current situation and identify the areas that require growth and improvement.
2. Embrace the Unknown:
   One of the biggest obstacles in embracing change is the fear of the unknown. It’s natural to feel apprehensive about stepping out of your comfort zone, but remember that growth happens when we challenge ourselves. Embrace the unknown with an open mind and a willingness to explore new possibilities.
3. Cultivate a Growth Mindset:
   A growth mindset is the key to navigating through change successfully. Instead of viewing challenges as roadblocks, see them as opportunities for learning and personal development. Embrace the mindset that setbacks and failures are stepping stones towards success. Stay curious, be willing to learn from your experiences, and adapt accordingly.
4. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences:
   In times of change, having a support system is crucial. Surround yourself with positive influences – friends, family, or mentors who uplift and inspire you. Share your journey with them, seek their advice, and draw strength from their experiences. Their support will not only help you navigate the challenges but also provide a sense of reassurance and motivation along the way. If you are literally alone in life look into meeting with a therapist, or life coach or joining a social group.
5. Embrace Self-Reflection:
   Change often requires self-reflection. Take the time to understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and aspirations. Reflect on what truly matters to you and align your actions and decisions accordingly. Embracing change means being true to yourself and making choices that align with your personal growth and happiness.

Embracing change is a transformative journey that can lead to personal growth, self-discovery, and fulfillment. By acknowledging the need for change, embracing the unknown, cultivating a growth mindset, surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and engaging in self-reflection, we can all navigate through life’s transitions with grace and resilience.

Remember, change is not something to be feared, but rather an opportunity to embrace and evolve into the best version of ourselves.

I wish you well on your journey and I look forward to hearing about the bits that you choose to share.