The Patty project

Sitting on a tropical island in South East Asia smiling for a photo; there’s many emotions felt when looking at this photo from earlier this year – yes there’s a smile and yes I was overseas so you’d think that would be enough to guarantee a good time and happiness – right?

Wrong.

If one does not deal with their shit then the shit travels with you wherever you go.

The moments are real, the new experiences are real and the excitement of adventures were real but if you don’t face the issues that are causing you grief then you carry them with you regardless of where you are, who you’re with or what you’re doing.

Yesterday was a hard day.

Lots of emotions were felt, lots of unpacking was done, many words shared with various people and I chose to make some pretty big decisions.

There’s no use in running, no use in sweeping anything under the rug, no use in ignoring or avoiding conversations because you feel that it’s too hard or not worth talking about.

Just about everything was emotionally challenging and draining yesterday from the moment I woke up with a wet pillow from crying in my dream/sleep to the uncomfortable conversations had just before I went to sleep but they had to happen to release, process and express emotions and pent up frustrations.

I choose not to blame others, I choose self reflection, I choose to look at everything as teaching moments and I choose to move forward because life is too short not to, because my self worth, respect and values are important and because I choose how I live and how I’ll be.

I wake to a new day, yes the raw emotions are still present but I didn’t wake up with a wet pillow and I’ll make the choices to determine how my day will look and be.

Nobody else has the power to control my feelings or influence my mood – it’s all up to me (and I’ll keep reminding myself of this throughout the day).