The Patty project

After a few years of believing I was gluten intolerant and then meeting a medium who advised I should get some tests done right away I was booked in for a colonoscopy on September 12th, 2019.

We took the day off work so that he could transport me to and from the clinic; I went in a little anxious but never expected to walk out with life altering news.

When the anesthetic was wearing off I could feel the doctor holding my hand speaking to me and asking if I was ok. I took this as a ‘normal’ procedure as I focussed on the feel of his very soft hands and brightly coloured socks. He started talking to me about the procedure and how it went well and then he went on to mention something about polyps and cancer.

Bowel cancer? What?

I came in to find out if I was gluten intolerant, not to be told I had cancer.

And yes…. I did ask him if I could still eat bread?

I was tidied up and moved over to a waiting area where I was given a sandwich and cup of tea. A nice nurse (who had a kind Nanna feel to her) kept on checking in on me and confirmed what I had heard but wished I hadn’t when she mentioned something about my newfound diagnosis and the shock that she could only imagine I was feeling.

I couldn’t help but wonder if the 2 other women sitting in the waiting room were also just told they had cancer and if so why weren’t they freaking out like I was!

I looked out the window and could see my car with him sitting in the drivers seat looking down at his phone possibly playing a game or flicking through his Facebook newsfeed.

I wondered how I would tell him.

I wondered what his reaction would be.

I desperately wanted to leave the waiting room.

I let the nurse know that my ride had arrived but she said it was still too early to be discharged.

She must have seen something in the way I looked at her because she handed me my results, a referral form and walked me all the way out to our car.

I thanked her, got in my car looked at him and blurted out

“I have cancer”….

The next few hours were a blur but I do remember worrying about how I would tell my kids and my parents that I had cancer.